The deepest human need we have is to believe
that we…..MATTER.


Most people in this country go to bed at night with psychological malnutrition—they are starving for a little appreciation. When I work with organizations on the topic of “Leadership”, I emphasize the importance of people in leadership positions to go out of their way daily to let people know that their efforts are appreciated.  People repeat the performances and behaviour they are acknowledged for.

When I work with the staff of an organization I explain that I agree how everyone, no matter who they are or what they do—loves to be recognized for doing a great job—it makes us want to do more of the same.  I also explain that there is a difference between LIKING appreciation and NEEDING appreciation.

When people become NEEDY about getting appreciation, they become resentful when they are not getting it.  This resentment can be towards our boss, our spouse, partner, or other people in our lives.

Every day in this country, there are hundreds of thousands of people who work below their best level of performance in organizations because they feel “entitled” to appreciation. And when they are not getting it, they are resentful of the people they believe should be telling them they are doing a good job.  Although we LIKE appreciation, we should never become DEPENDENT on it to be and do our BEST.  Needing appreciation is a very dangerous position to take.

When people withhold their Best, because they are not getting the positive strokes they believe they deserve, they are thinking, “I’ll show them”. They then pull back from delivering their usual excitement and passion for their job.  This stance results in a “LOSE/LOSE/LOSE” situation.  The losers are:  the individual, the organization and the customers.

A powerful quote I heard many years ago is: “The biggest mistake you could ever make is to believe that you work for somebody else”.  When we believe we work for somebody else, it is all too easy to BLAME “THEM”, whenever we are not as happy as we think we should be.

To feel Empowered about your job and your life—you need to take responsibility for your own morale.  You need to pat yourselfon the back—knowing you gave it your best.  When you don’t get others patting you on the back, you need to “SUCK IT UP”.  You need to know that at the end of every day, you work for YOU, and your own self-respect.  When you do THAT—you stand a far greater chance of SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNIZING you for it and that is a BONUS, not a necessity.  Don’t put your sense of self-worth and value into the hands of others—

-Bob Koehler

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